Nekadašanja Diznijeva zvezda Bela Torn ponovo šokira svet. Nakon što je dva dana na Instagramu objavljivala gole fotografije, sada je rešila i da se obrati javnosti jednim pismom.
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Nakon što je objavljeno da je u saradanji sa najpopularnijim sajtom sa filmovima za odrasle rešila da režira porno film, Bela je sada opet zapanjila pratioce.
Glumica je dva dana objavljivala serije potpuno nagih fotografija iz kreveta uz koje je pisala pesme, a onda je uz nove rešila da otvori dušu u poruci koju je posvetila mami, tati, sebi i nepoznatom muškarcu. Evo šta u njemu piše:
- Šta nije u redu sa mnom? Zašto mi je uvek potrebna potvrda svih, pogotovo muškaraca. Svi mi govore da bi trebalo da budem sama, da naučim da usrećim samu sebe. Ali sve te stvari me je*eno plaše. Sve što želim je on. Želim da me drži, želim da me voli, da mi kaže da je OK. Da me gleda u oči i da vidim da sam prihvaćena. Zašto? Jer ne mogu da prihvatim samu sebe. Iz nekog razloga mislim da nisam dovoljno dobra. Nisam dobra za njega, nju, niti bilo koga drugog. Ako nije on, tražim drugog njega ili nju. Zašto ne tražim novu sebe? Da se nađem, prihvatim sebe takvu kakva jesam. Jer sam zlostavljana celog života. Izložena seksu tako mlada, to je sve što znam da ponudim svetu. Ili zato što sam odgajana da mislim da nisam dovoljno dobra. Za nju i nikoga. Nije važno šta se meni desilo. Ono što je važno je šta mi se sada dešava. Ne krivim detinjstvo, ne krivim nikoga. Krivim sebe što mislim da nisam privlačna, što time opterećujem sve oko sebe. Očekujem da me ljudi vole, kako bih volela sebe. Ali to se nikada neće desiti. Moram da radim i prođem kroz to. Ovaj svet mora da boli. Bol, ljubav, prihvatanje. Na tome se zasniva naš emotivni svet. Upravo osećam jednu od tih stvari. Znate li koju? Bol. Samo me boli, ali boli me zbog drugih ljudi. Jer me ne vole i ne prihvataju. Ovakva 'pisanija' imaju kraj, ali ja ga nemam. I dalje se pitam. I, da li je to ok? Da li je OK znati šta je tvoj cilj, ali nemati ideju kako da dođeš do njega? Možda ne, ali barem to prihvatam. Ovo pismo je o mami i tati i tebi i meni".
What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men… Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so fucking scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it's ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I'm accepted. Why? Because I can't accept myself. For some reason in my head I'm just not fucking good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else. And if it's not him I just look for the "next" him, or her Why can't I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me. Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it's all I know how to offer to the world…or is it because I was raised to think I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else. But it doesn't matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now. I can't blame my childhood, in fact I can't blame anyone for anything. All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I'm attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don't have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That's what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt…but I'm not hurting for other people no I'm only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me. Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don't have an end. I'm still figuring it out as always. So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it. It's probably not but I can only start by accepting it. This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you ❤️ #thelifeofawannabemogul
A post shared by BELLA (@bellathorne) on Aug 20, 2019 at 12:04pm PDT
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